Got a question or topic you want to see blogged in December? Email me or post it here.
You've got questions? I've got more answers.
Question from Ethan:
Where do you see your self in ten years?
Well, in ten years I’ll be 33, closing in on 34. Ideally, I would like
to have travelled the world a bit, maybe have had a few (or more than) hookups and
just generally had time to enjoy myself and do what I want. As for a career,
I’d like to be a case worker for an adoption agency or some other
administrative position in a social service (and hopefully I didn’t have to
suffer through too much school to get there). I wouldn’t need a huge salary (I
don’t really need the mansion or BMW), just something large enough to have a
comfortable living for myself and my partner.
Speaking of which, by then I would like to have been with my special
guy (hopefully my ideal??) for a few years, and I hope we’d be really settling
down together, like having a home together or maybe getting married (or not).
If we didn’t have a kid already, I’d want to be seriously talking about having
one and going through the processes by then.
But
that’s an ideal. Five years ago, I would have told you I was going to be a
financial planner with my nice business major, have a nice house and car, a cute wife and kids. And that’s
all turned out quite well. Point is, I’ve come to realize that you never know what
life is going to give you, so I’m not too wrapped up on my ideal, but a boy can
dream, right?
Question from Kevin:
Are you only looking for a slowly develloping long term 'decent'
relationship, or would you take your chance on something you know wont last but
would be fun when the occasion happens?
Honestly, I’m really taking things as I go. Ultimately, I’m kind of
old-fashioned in that the end goal is to end up in a long term monogamous relationship,
and if I meet someone, we hit it off and get serious, great. But for now, I’d really
rather just go out, make friends and have fun.
I’ve actually discussed this before in pretty good depth with Brian. He
met his very first girlfriend when he was 19 and we were in our second year of
university and they’ve been together ever since. Even though he’s very happy in
his relationship and wouldn’t trade it for the world, he’s expressed to me when
I bring up wanting to be in a relationship about how he really wishes that he
had taken the time to play the field a bit more, and being a good buddy, he
really wants that for me too. And he’s got a point, if I’m going to end up in a
long-term, serious relationship, I’ve got the rest of my life for that. Might
as well have some fun when I’m young, right?
I’m not exactly sure what you consider fun Kevin, but I suppose that’s
a relative thing. I would probably consider dating a guy who wants to go out
and meet up with friends for dinner every night or travel the world with me or
is super passionate, even though I knew it probably wouldn’t work out because
he hates his family or has no ambition, etc. although I think it really depends
on the situation. I don’t think I’d drag it out too long if that were the case,
but I’m trying to learn not to write things off just because and to go for the experience
of it all, since you never know. Maybe I’ll get over it whatever “dealbreaker”
he has. The only real deal killers are excessive alcohol or drug use and the “whole
party” lifestyle; I don’t get any joy out of that, so it won’t be worth my time
to be with someone into that kind of lifestyle.
I get Brian. I'm now about 9 years with Stof (I was 21 when I met him), and I still love him to death. In an ideal world though, I would have enjoyed my single time for a while after coming out and before getting a serious relationship, to 'discover' the world. I had a few hook-ups before but being in the closet I guess that's different and you can't enjoy life at it's fullest. I don't regret anything though, life isn't to plan, and if chances (like meeting Stof) happen than you have to grap them instead of sticking to the plan (and skip that year abroad and single life)
ReplyDelete