What's up, buttercup?

Nothing too crazy going on in my life right now, but in the interest of opening myself up more, I thought I’d try and mention some of the small, random going-ons with me.

1) The parental units...are on vacation for a week, without me and my sister naturally. It’s going to be really weird, since my dad normally works from home and my mom is “semi-retired”, so there’s always someone around the house. I’m sort of “excited” having to fend for myself...I’ve lived with my parents all my life and I guess I’m spoiled in the sense that my mom feels obligated to do the cooking and cleaning being at home all the time, so I don’t ever have to worry about that. I just want to prove to myself that I’m perfectly capable on my own and not completely reliant on my parents for everything. Probably sounds crazy to any of you living on your own, but I guess the grass is always greener.

2) Brian and Nate know 5 gays amongst the two of them – No, wait...scratch that. One is a mutual friend between all of us. So technically 4, excluding myself of course. It doesn’t really surprise me, but hearing that was sort of a reality check for me...it’s not going to be easy for them, or for me dealing with this whole bi thing. There’s going to be a lot of questions, a lot of things they probably won’t understand, at least I think. It’s just another one of those things that’s freaking me out a little and I’d rather not have to deal with it, but we’ll see about that. In the end though, they’re still my buddies, so I think everything will be alright, but not without some little bumps along the way.

3) Old crushes – It’s kind of funny, I start blogging about how I like guys and how that’s played with my head, and then I see two old (female) crushes I haven’t seen since high school within a week. I saw one on the bus, but was too shy (and frankly, embarrassed) to say anything. I’m pretty sure my feelings were known to her, and well, things didn’t work out, whatever the situation was. C’est la vie. The other is actually good friends with Danny, and I said a quick hi to her at Danny’s birthday party that she was hosting. She’s a little bit different than I last remember her (a little more party-girl), but still cool to see her nonetheless. Both are still pretty cute, though...bloody “straight-ish” guy mind.

4) Time and weather – Summer must have forgotten about Vancouver...while the rest of North America is stuck in a proverbial heat wave, I think we’ve been lucky to get MAYBE 2 or 3 actual, bright, sunny days this month. That means not nearly as much hiking and volleyball-playing as I would have liked so far, but what can you do? I also registered for classes last week, just another sign summer’s slowly coming to an end. On the other hand, I always like going back to school in the fall: I’m all refreshed from the summer break, all ready to learn (such a nerd) and it’s a fun atmosphere with all the excited first-year students around and welcoming events going on.

5) I wish I had a Golf R to drift around in :( (Thanks Insideline!)

And yeah, that’s about it. Got another long weekend ahead of me (yay BC Day), so free time to blog, get outside, eat, hang out with friends...it's gonna be sweet.

-Matt

"Use Your Words, Dammit!"

My sister Diana was the one that said that to me once when I was using one word answers and being vague in answering how my day went. Granted, I’ve never been a great communicator, but sometimes it’s more than that.

Lately I’ve just felt like a robot, like I’m just operating in life without any sort of thought or emotion about anything that’s going on around me. I seriously don’t know what I’m feeling some days; it’s as if there’s nothing there, like my whole mind is just numb. I couldn’t express what I’m feeling even if I wanted to because I don’t really care or have a thought about anything, and this makes it really difficult to talk with people.

Missed Connections

Let’s not kid ourselves here. We’ve all people watched before: you’re in a public place for whatever reason with lots of people around when curiosity gets the better of you, so you check out what other people are doing, what they’re wearing, eavesdropping, trying to scope out the hotties, etc. Ever since I started taking transit to work, I’m completely guilty of this; it’s a long commute with little to do other than listen to music, so my eye is wandering onto what’s going on with all the other commuters and silently trying to be all up in their shit.

I definitely feel kinda creepy and stalkerish after admitting that, but Craigslist’s “Missed Connections” section proves that I’m definitely not the only one doing this. For those not in the know, the Missed Connections section is basically a place where people can anonymously express their attraction and/or feelings to others they were too shy/scared/nervous to try and make contact in hopes of making good on that lost opportunity.