Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

Wow, 2013 already...craaaaazzyyy.

Anyway, the holidays were alright all things considered. I spent Christmas Eve with my mom's family, which is always a laugh and a half. Little disappointing since my cousin and her kids were out of town, which meant there were no actual kids around excited to open gifts and have toys to play with (my sister and I were the last "kids" in the family). Christmas Day was a little different this year, since it's usually spent with my dad's side of the family, but my parents, sister and I had a pretty normal Christmas morning watching movies we had gotten and having a nice breakfast. Later, we went to go keep my grandmother company for a bit, then off to my uncle's for dinner. Because of all the planning for the funeral and missing Christmas together, I ended up spending a lot of time with my dad's side of the family between Christmas and New Years. They're family, and I love them, but that was more than enough time with them, and I'm glad the dust has settled and everything is getting somewhat back to normal.

BEDID - Day 4 - You Ask, I Tell, Part 1

Got a question or topic you want to see blogged in December? Email me or post it here.

Hey guys, first off I really wanted to thank those of you who have sent in questions. You would not believe how much easier and thought-provoking it is to write on a specific topic coming from people other than myself! It makes the whole blog-everyday thing so much more manageable. Please keep them coming!

And speaking of which, I'm going to try and answer a few more of your questions here. Don't worry, I will get all your questions answered by the end of the month. I'm slowly gathering my thoughts for each one and some definitely take more than others, but they will be answered, rest assured. Anyway, here we go:

Question from Jeff:

So why do you have the moniker "ClosetCarGuy"? 

Well, it was mostly because when I started this blog, I was a closeted gay guy who happened to like cars. It was supposed to be a theme that I was planning to run with a little more than I have so far; a bit of an extension of my personality and interests. You can probably bet on seeing more car-related posts this month (did you like yesterday's post? =P ). I also wanted to put it out there since being a car guy is seen as a kind of masculine hobby, and of course the assumption is that masculine =/ gay, so if I can write/share something I love while demonstrating not all gay guys are some sort of stereotype and being a sort of advocate, great.

Along that line, I guess now would be a good time to mention that I also work at a dealership part-time as a detailer/lot guy (it's why the first BEDID was posted late in the day) for some extra cash. It's a great job that satisfies my inner car guy, but I definitely sense that machismo that's in the automotive industry bouncing around sometimes. I’ve heard managers and salespeople refuse to take home cars because they’d “look like a fairy driving it” and I've also heard some pretty off-colour statements about customers' dress or mannerisms or even their partners. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't outed myself there yet to make a bit of a statement, but for one, I don't work there frequently enough; two, turnover's pretty high, so it's hard to build a relationship to trust someone enough; and three, I'm there to work first and foremost, and I'm usually by myself detailing a car anyway. Perhaps in time though. Funny thing is though, I know for a FACT there's another gay guy working there, I'm just not sure if he's out to anyone at work or not.

Question from Kevin: 

How about your preparation for that though mudder thing? Looking like a para trooper by now? lol

Haha, I wish. Nate, Cara and I joined a 5K. running clinic for Cara to start off running and for me to ease back into it (last time I seriously ran was probably 2 years ago). We can probably run 5K pretty consistently now, but that’s nowhere near the 10mi./16K Tough Mudder course, so we’re looking to ramp up to a longer distance running clinic. Ideally, I’d like to be able to run a half-marathon so I can complete the 10 mi. and still have something leftover in the tank to handle the obstacles, but we’ll see if I can make it in time for this year’s event in June.

Nate and I are also supposed to be getting a gym membership at the local community centre so we can do some strength training, which I sorely, sorely need. If anybody's got some good strength training workouts that can be done from home, I'd like to hear them too. It's probably easier to go to the gym and use the equipment though...that is, if I don’t get distracted by other guys’ technique while I’m there :P 

 

Hope you guys are enjoying BEDID so far. Be yourselves and I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Take Two

Hey guys,

I took a little break from blogging just to reevaluate what I wanted to do here. A lot of the time I wasn't sure what to put here, or how it was going to help me. I've realized that I've got this irrational idea in my head that talking about myself makes me conceited and that my problems and thoughts aren't important, so I keep things to myself. Crazy, right? It's ridiculous, but even with the anonymity of the internet, I kind of cared what I was putting out there and how that might be interpreted, so I found myself censoring some of what I wrote. It might be in part because I was worried about somebody finding me out or maybe it's just because in my crazy mind I didn't want to come off as egotistical. But anyway, with that being said, I'm going to keep at it and give it another shot.

So what's been going on the last month with me?

So I got to redeem myself...

Now, you might remember this post.

Anyway, this past Friday was a pretty slack day at work...all the bosses were on vacation, we're all caught up on our work for the month and of course, it was the weekend! So it wasn't really any surprise when Angela popped her head into my cubicle to have a little chit chat and waste the afternoon away.

Being Friday, we got to discussing our plans for the weekend...innocent enough. Angela asked me if I ever go clubbing, which I don't (not my thing), and she nodded slowly at my answer and told me I was a "good boy" =P. We got on to talking about how crazy people at clubs can get, and somehow, that got her onto telling me about an incident that had happened that morning.

"Well, you know, this morning, I saw this one guy I always see in the cafeteria...he's.. you know..." she started. At first it didn't click what the hell she was talking about, but as the conversation went on, it was clear we'd be having another frank conversation.

"If my kids were gay, I would just..."

I feel as if I'm pretty fortunate in terms of acceptance of gays: my friends, family and acquaintances are all fairly liberal and educated and I live in a fairly liberal part of the country where there's a whole mix of people from different walks of life, so I feel as if most people I encounter are fairly tolerant of diversity. Well, today I got my first real dose of homophobia, something that wasn't just my buddies fooling around and being stupid. This was serious, brutally honest opposition to homosexuality that I haven't really experienced before and I'm still a little shocked and shook up writing about it.

I have a partner who I share my duties with, Angela, at my summer job. She's a little middle aged Korean lady who really is the sweetest thing ever: she's always looking out for me, taking over tasks from me so I don't have to work so much, offering me snacks and coffee throughout the day, keeping me company and opening up all the office social circles for me. We chat a lot with each other since her desk is next to mine, often with her giving me good life advice. She kind of reminds me of some of my aunts or my grandmother, motherly, yet very affectionate and respectful. She's a funny character and her warmth and kindness makes me smile whenever I'm around her.