Bi to Gay

It might not be a surprise reading some of my more recent posts, but I've taken on the gay label over bisexual recently. It’s not that the bi label is wildly inaccurate now, but I just find that I can relate more to the “gay” label than I could before.

I mentioned back near the beginning that I didn’t really consider myself gay and more bisexual because I never had any sort of emotional attraction to a guy and that attraction with guys was more of a physical and sexual nature. It just never really seemed desirable or even possible to have that sort of emotional attachment to a guy. But in light of coming out to my friends (both male and female) and the talks I’ve had with them, as well as reading other blogs and talking to other bloggers, I’ve realized it is possible to be emotional and open with a guy. So for me, guys have the full package now, they’ve checked all the “attraction” boxes: emotional, physical and sexual.

As for girls, nothing’s really changed. Most of the girls I meet have the emotional attraction down-packed. There’s even a few that I think are pretty cute, but could I sleep with a girl? Not so sure. That being said, there are still those times where I’m not sure, like the receptionist last weekend at work (another story, promise).  So I guess the “bi” label still applies, although maybe less so than it did a few months ago. I’m thinking it’s going to take a pretty special girl to make me play for that team, unlikely, but I’m never going to say never. 

Part of it might have to do with me being out to my closest family and friends, and them being okay with it. Now that they know, there's not really any pressure to feel like I *have* to or should be with a woman to fit in or meet their expectations. In addition to that, now that I’m somewhat out, it’s a hell of a lot easier to explain that I’m gay, instead of I’m physically, sexually and fairly emotionally attracted to guys, but only emotionally and physically attracted to girls (see?). In the beginning, I did make it a point to give a full explanation when I first told everyone, but they hear me calling myself gay in conversation now. Even a few of my more recent coming outs, I haven't even mentioned any attraction to women, so who knows, maybe I am just kidding myself a tiny little bit still telling myself there might be even the slightest chance I would consider being with a girl. 

So yes, I might just be a case of “bi now, gay later” and that’s perfectly fine with me.I'm just going to take it by ear and see where it takes me.