Just Living the Semi-Out Life

Hey guys...long time, no post. School kinda took up a lot of time, but it’s over and I ended up doing really well in my classes, blah, blah, blah. Now, on to more interesting topics...

Before classes ended, there was a cute guy I was interested in getting to know coming into the LGBT centre at school. I wish there was more to say about it, but it worked out that I was always only in the centre once a week for an about an hour while he was there. In addition to that, a couple times he was chatting with others in the centre, which made it hard for me to break into the group and to try to get to know him one-on-one. He did try to chat me up once, out of politeness or something else I don’t know, but I was a little too self-conscious and nervous to make any sort of real conversation. And I swear I caught him checking me out a couple of times, but that could be my wishful thinking. I feel like such a teenage girl, way too self-conscious and I’m completely out of my element, not having any idea of how to talk and try to pick up this guy. It sucks too, because he seems like a really friendly, personable guy, but I know neither he or I will be on campus during the summer (even though we run on a tri-semester system), so if I ever have another chance to try and get to know him, it won’t be until at least September. Soooo, if out some freak chance that he reads this, is still interested and figures out who he is: Buddy. You. Me. Coffee. Email me. :)

Call me...maybe?

I also told Britney a couple weeks ago in the middle of us playing video games together. For a couple years now, I’ve heard through the grapevine that she suspected that I was gay, so I didn’t really feel any pressure and it felt good to clear the air. I just paused the game, and told her that, she probably knew this already, but because she’s a close friend of mine, she deserved to know that I was gay. Her reaction was a lot like Danny’s, she seemed really appreciative that I told her and only asked who else knew. After that, she unpaused the game and we were back at it as if nothing happened. It’s still sort of strange to me that no one really cares about me being gay, but thinking about it, if someone came out to me, my reaction wouldn’t really be any different than Danny’s or Britney’s. I might be curious to know how long they’ve been out and who else knew, but that’s about it. 

Anyway, in my time off from school, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Lindsay. Things are basically back to how they were before I ever came out to her, if not better. I still tease her and bug her like a brother would (or a big sister as she likes to say...sigh), plus we can openly talk about things like going to go see Magic Mike, how hot we find men in uniform or anal sex prep. Yeeeeah. Anyway, one of the things she’s been wanting to do with me is to go to a gay club (“Or pub! For Lunch! That way it’s during the day and we can escape easier!”). It’s a bit of a step for me, but I’m not usually one to disappoint. It’s one of the things I want to do with her before she moves back overseas to be with her family. I also read back some of the things I’ve said about us and have been tempted to delete them and I regret/am embarrassed/ashamed of the things I wrote, considering any resentment I have toward her is gone and the way I portray her is in such a negative light and such a sharp contrast from where we are today. But really, there’s no erasing the past, it’s how I felt at the time, so I’m going to keep those posts up. 

Otherwise, I’ve been filling up my time with the Twins and Nate. Our latest activity has been hitting the gym, trying to get ourselves in shape for the summer, so we can try to meet our lofty goal of doing Tough Mudder next year. Gotta be doing a lot of “Body Work” till then...

Yay Gay Canadians!

Oh, and I turned 23 a couple weeks ago! I feel old(ish). :P

Anyway, till next time guys, be yourselves!