So I got to redeem myself...

Now, you might remember this post.

Anyway, this past Friday was a pretty slack day at work...all the bosses were on vacation, we're all caught up on our work for the month and of course, it was the weekend! So it wasn't really any surprise when Angela popped her head into my cubicle to have a little chit chat and waste the afternoon away.

Being Friday, we got to discussing our plans for the weekend...innocent enough. Angela asked me if I ever go clubbing, which I don't (not my thing), and she nodded slowly at my answer and told me I was a "good boy" =P. We got on to talking about how crazy people at clubs can get, and somehow, that got her onto telling me about an incident that had happened that morning.

"Well, you know, this morning, I saw this one guy I always see in the cafeteria...he's.. you know..." she started. At first it didn't click what the hell she was talking about, but as the conversation went on, it was clear we'd be having another frank conversation.


"He's pretty...*doing a few flicks of her wrist and a flamboyant walk*, and this morning I saw him being dropped off by another man, and I saw them kissing in the car in front of the office! I was shocked, I couldn't believe it! It just seemed so wrong, and I have to see him everyday in the cafeteria!" she lamented. What seemed to bother Angela most about the whole incident, and in her eyes, gays in general, was the flamboyancy and exhibition. "I really don't understand why they have to act that way. I don't want to have to see that coming into work. Why do they have to be so open and flaunt it everywhere? They're so loud, so crazy and out there. Why can't they just change their behaviour?"


Still reeling from not saying anything during our last conversation and the comments left on my last post (thanks guys!) fresh on my mind, I wasn't about to smile and nod and let this opportunity to get a few words in slide away this time. I told her pretty much what I had felt the last time we spoke about gays. "Don't let it get to you, Angela. It's not really any of our business what they do...and besides, it's not your thing or mine (heh), sure, but they're not hurting anybody. We should just let them be." I told her. I guess I must have caught her off guard by standing up to her like that, since she seemed to stammer a bit more and the whole mood of her speech changed, like she didn't want to say anything that would offend me."You think so...? You aren't..." she asked, somewhat embarrassed. "No," I quickly lied, "but I have a couple close friends who are. They're good, normal people." "Really? Are they very girly?" "No, they're like most guys out there. You wouldn't even know if you met them." "Really...I guess I wouldn't know. I don't know anyone like that." Angela paused, then sighed. "Maybe I need to change my behaviour too."

Towards the end of our conversation, she asked whether or not I thought gays were born "that" way, and so I gave her the answer I think most closeted guys would have. "I think so..." I replied. "Really, with all that they have to put up with, the negativity and rejection, who would choose that?" I asked her. And then it was like watching a switch in Angela's head being flipped, her eyes widened and her voice got almost panicky. "So if that's true, what about those married men with kids who suddenly come out later on?". "...maybe they tricked themselves into being "normal"." I responded, almost thrown off by the urgency and worry in her voice. Angela paused for a second to take in what I had said, and I forget exactly how she said it, but basically she was conflicted. She seemed to say that she knew God as the creator and it was God's will for men and women to be together, so being gay was a choice in her mind, a perversion brought upon gays by themselves. "But you're right, Matt. Who would choose to be that way, to be shunned and looked down upon?" She put a finger to her chin, thinking. "Thanks for the discussion." she said softly as she retreated back to her cubicle. "You're welcome...I hope I gave you something to think about" I said, turning back to my computer and smiling to myself.

And so there you go guys. I stood up for our community, and I have to say, it felt pretty damn good. Sure, I'm still no activist, but to think that I might have planted that little seed of change in Angela's mind is pretty rewarding. I wish I could have done fem guys a bit more justice, but I did what I felt I could do without out-ing myself or having Angela call HR on me or something. It's a start though, and hopefully in time Angela will learn to accept the LGBT community with open arms. 

-Matt