What's Shakin', Bakin'?

Ugh, naming these random update posts is hard. Anyway, important things first, the boys:

Alex and I have slowed our texting back and forth a bit; we're down to about every 3-4 days now. At first it was a little disconcerning since it was quite the drop from texting everyday, but also a bit of a relief because it slowed the pace down to a level that soothed my fears of leading him on too early. He always came through and made first contact, though. It's flattering to know that he's still interested, and admittedly, I am too since I decided to make first contact after one or two of those couple day stretches out of concern. I'd like to think that he's still super interested and someone had just warned him not to be too clingy, but I won't toot my horn too loudly :P The conversations we have still aren't that notable...we just talk about our day/weekend, what we did, what we ate, pretty mundane shit. And I don't mind, I think that's what made/makes my relationships with people like Lindsay and Britney so enjoyable and easy, to just be able to shoot the shit so easily, and that's what I'm looking for in a relationship, so maybe, just maybe...

As for Shane, there's *very* gradual progress, although I'm still keeping my hopes up. I'm planning to dedicate an entire post to it, but these little glimmers of hope keep popping up and I keep delaying the post to see where they go. Sorry. But the bottom line: I think Nate gets it now, but whether he does anything or not to help me remains to be seen.

Meetup guy has been a bit of a bust, and I wasn't even aiming for anything else than friends with him :( After our very first lunch back in January, he texted me that he'd be up for another lunch soon. A week later I got an apologetic text saying he was busy with work with a promise to meet up soon. And then I got another like that the week after, and the week after. And then I got a text saying he was leaving the country on a whim to visit his family...that was two weeks ago. Strange, and I hope he's okay. On the list of things to do: check in with him.

Awkward OkCupid guy actually turned out to be a little bit less frustrating than I thought. I gave him a chance and added him on Skype and while still a little awkward, he seems to mean well and I still get the impression he's trying to figure his life out and just needs someone to talk to.

And Mr. Casting Director Co-worker...really nothing to say about him. I hear my sister's accompanying him to a lot of his fancy work events, but not much else.

In general, life's been pretty good. Still some up's and down's, but I'm generally in a good place. After working 6 days a week for a long time, and having classes and work eating up my time before that, it's been a bit of a struggle to actually fill my time with hobbies and things I actually enjoy. I've been enjoying reading the Bourne series (they're some of my favourite movies, so it only made sense I read the books!), playing volleyball (when it's not injuring my back...), wall-climbing and spending time with friends. Oh, and I washed my car for the first time in a good couple months, so it's back to it's shiny, new glory. I was all ready to do a big detail job like I did last year too, until the cold water froze my hand, the clouds rolled in and the wind blew tree debris all over my car, reminding me it's still the middle of February in Vancouver. Guess it'll have to wait till spring.  

That's all for now, but I've got a couple vlogs in mind that I've been itching to do...it's just a matter of finding a better camera, so stay tuned...

I Might be Addicted

Oh god, what is wrong with me?

In between our dates and since he's left, I've been texting back and forth with Alex, and it's just the most random stuff we'll talk about. It's funny, my friends have heard me rave about this guy, but yet I can't even tell them what we talk about and why that makes me excited, since it's so mundane. He'll check in on me to see how I'm doing, we'll talk about our plans for the day, hell, even what we're having for lunch. And I can't help but feel a bit giddy and let a smile creep across my face when I see the LED on my phone blink. It's seriously a struggle...he keeps talking about things he wants to do the next time he's back in Vancouver, how he wants to spend more time here, and then he asks me if I'd spend some of that time with him. I say, maybe a little too enthusiastically, that I'd definitely like to hang out again and end up wondering what the hell I'm doing. I know I could stop talking or try to end the conversation, but I can't help it, I don't want to.

It wasn't supposed to go this way, at least not this quickly. I'm sitting here, writing the third post in three days about this guy, wondering what happened to taking things slowly, meeting new people and making friends first before getting into any sort of relationship. Part of me is saying, hit the brakes and stop leading this guy on, there's still sooo many more guys to date, so why start a relationship with the very first date now? Besides, it's only been two dates! What are you doing?! The other side says this feels so right, that he's a really sweet guy and I remind myself that I can connect with him in a way that I can with only a select few people.

I'm both impressed and completely astounded with myself. This is absolutely crazy.

Conflicted

Despite us only having messaged each other back and forth, Alex seems to be picking up on my personality and likes pretty quickly, which was reflected in our second date, which involved us getting gelato, realizing there were no seats in the cafe, and us sitting in his car talking. Regardless, I still I had a great time and even appreciated the simplicity and intimacy of just talking in the car.

First-First Date

Well, if I wasn't dating before, I definitely am now. Alex, the Vancouver transplant from San Francisco I met on OkCupid messaged me during the week asking to meet up while he was in town this weekend. And, for something different, I decided to go for it.

By all accounts, things should've gone awkwardly. I had a pretty significant anxiety attack this week and wasn't feeling too confident in my sociability, and not having a coffee for a week made me pretty jittery and nervous, as if I wasn't already in preparation for what was an actual date in my mind. But it's amazing what the right person can do. He was really easy to talk to, and despite my nerves, we never really dropped conversation. We seem to share the same values, like closeness with family, friends and dedication to self-improvement. Even where we are in life seems somewhat similar; we're both mostly out to our friends and family and we're looking to enrich our relationships with people. We share a similar outlook on life (cheerful, or at least trying to make it that way) and while initially I didn't think he was my type, in person he was pretty cute. 

One of the things I wasn't used to was being on the receiving end of chivalry. As soon as I arrived at the coffee shop, he offered to buy me a coffee and as soon as I was done that, he offered to get up and get me a mug of hot water. And at the end, just as we were about to depart, he gave my arm a bit of a caress, which I wasn't used to. I guess because normally I'm  the guy to take charge and take care of my friends, it was a little odd to sit back and have this guy wait on me. Not to say it felt awkward, it was actually nice for a change, it just felt...foreign.

Now, I'm not sure where he wants to take this, but he's definitely looking for a boyfriend. In our conversation about our extended families and coming out, he mentioned that he was catching flack from his grandmother for not seeing someone and how at 30, he's really the last one out of his cousins and siblings to not being someone over to family dinners. He seemed pretty hopeful that that trend would end soon. We also talked about moving out and being independent, so I inadvertently asked him if he would ever consider moving back to Vancouver. Even though most of his job prospects are down in California, he would consider coming back for his family, a decent job...and the right guy. Definitely for the right guy. Hmmm. I'm curious to see where he wants to go with this, and whether he would be okay with the glacial pace that I would like to see. In the meantime, I'll keep my options open. 

So overall, a pretty solid first date; and it must've been in his eyes too since he asked me for a second date before he flies back to San Francisco on Monday =)