Car Reviews from a Lot Guy

Two Saturdays ago, I worked my last day as a lot guy at a mid-level luxury car dealership. In the 3.5 years I've been there, I've gotten to drive everything from econoboxes to posh, decadent luxobarges. Here's just a few of the more memorable cars I've driven in my time there and my impressions. (Most pics courtesy of Wikimedia)


Best Car: Jaguar XKR Victory Edition

I don't blame my boss for wanting to take this car home frequently, and honestly, I didn't mind either since that meant I got to care for it, fill-it up and drive it regularly =) . Ours was metallic black with big BBS wheels, a really classy, sexy car. Interior was classic Jaguar, soft black leather, burled walnut accents, J-gate shifter. Best part of that car though had to be the engine. With the top down, you didn't really have to give it much to hear the roar of the V8 engine and the supercharger whine. And with 400 hp, it got going pretty quickly too. It was a perfect cruising car, wind in your hair, engine note flooding your senses, mmmmm...

Worst Car: Chrysler Sebring

I had to drive this to the airport to pick up a co-worker. No offense to anybody who might own one of these, but I can't think of a time I've been more annoyed with a car. The 2.4L 4-cyl engine didn't feel like the 173 horses it was supposed to be, probably because the transmission was too lazy to ever down or upshift; I had to floor it before it would even consider changing gears. The ride managed to be really floaty, yet jarring over bumps. The interior was cheap feeling and entirely hard plastic, and the exterior was oddly-proportioned and just looked plain awful. A basically identical Dodge Avenger we had on the lot at the time had a leak in the trunk that caused some pretty gnarly mold. I really hope Chrysler did better when they facelifted it and renamed it the 200...

Favourite Car: Infiniti G37

I was always really happy whenever we got one of these on the lot. They're powerful, smooth and the engine note is music to the ears. They also handled well while being relatively pleasant riding and refined. The interior was well put together and the materials were nice. Interestingly, they always seemed to come from rental car companies...I would kill to get one of these while on vacation or something! In fact, the G37 is probably my "realistically achievable" car...

Most stereotypically "gay" car: Tie - Bright Yellow Mini Cooper, Powder Blue VW Beetle Convertible

The actual car.

I love Minis, but I prefer mine bright red and turbocharged, not yellow with the base engine. I was driving to the gas station to fill it up, and at the light next to me was a young Asian girl and her mom sitting in an identical yellow Mini. I think she fit the car waaaaay better than I did. As for the Beetle, well, just look at it. It's just so cute and it has a flower vase on the dash! Even if you filled the vase with cigars, beef jerky and Swiss Army Knives I don't think you could make this car more butch.

Most WTF Car: Cadillac Escalade Hybrid 

Personally, I just feel like there's something fundamentally not right with trying to make a 6.0L V8 bling mobile more green by attaching an electric motor to it. It was kind of funny though, stealthing along in electric mode in something so big and flashy, like nobody would notice a three-ton, 22" chrome rimmed SUV roll by. The retracting sidesteps were kinda neat, although I suppose you need them in something this big. To be honest, I kinda liked it in a "this-is-a-joke-it's-so-ridiculous" sort of way.

Best Transmission: Honda Civic Si / Acura TSX

As of late, I haven't been the biggest fan of Hondas, but I have to admit they know how to do their drivetrains. The six-speed manuals in these cars are amazing, light and easy to modulate clutches and the short throw shifters are smooth and rewarding to use.

Worst transmission: Smart fortwo CDI

Despite my car guyness, deep down I'm still a socially responsible, greenie who wants to do good by the planet, so what better way than a small, diesel powered city car? I REALLY wanted to like the smart car, but the transmission just ruined it (not to mention the goofiness of it). It's an "automated manual" which means the car does the clutch work for you while you shift, or you can let it do all the work and leave it in the automatic mode. Only problem is the clutch feels like it's being operated by a sixteen-year old learning to drive, so it's clunky and slow to engage. First time I tried to drive it, I thought I broke it since it would rev up to 2000 RPM and nothing happened. It sucked because you had no control over the clutch like you would have in an actual manual transmission, and none of the smoothness and convenience of a traditional automatic either.

Best Interior: Volvo S60 

Courtesy of Volvo Canada

The seats in this car are amazing, they feel like they're swallowing you up without feeling overstuffed or soft. The dash is really nicely put together, and all the materials are soft and high quality. I like the waterfall console and all the heads-up displays are bright and colourful. It's just a very nice place to be. Runner-up goes to the Volvo S80 with heated Swedish massage seats we had.

The "Oh, I get it!" Car: Subaru Impreza WRX 265

I never really understood the hype behind the WRX; I thought it was just a bunch of Playstation fanbois drooling over a tarted-up Impreza just because it had AWD and a turbo. The power is pretty intoxicating and seems pretty easy to get into trouble with if you're not careful. It seemed to handle pretty well, and it's great because you've got all the utility of a regular Impreza. Maybe the fanbois were on to something after all.

Most Badass Car: Ford Mustang GT California Special Convertible

Imagine the picture, except all black. Shiny chrome rims, rumbly V8, chunky manual transmission and stereo with big ass subwoofer? Hell yeah!

Best Convertible Roof : Volvo C70

Just press a button, let the car do it's Transformer-thing, and in less than 30 seconds, you've got a convertible.

Worst Convertible Roof: Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Soft top

I wouldn't say this is a bad convertible roof (and for reference, I love Wranglers!), although it's reminiscent of pitching a tent. Just in comparison to the Volvo, the multitude of zippers, metal bars and canvas pieces is a little more difficult to piece together. Especially if you're furiously flipping through the manual to see what zips up where in the rain like I was. =P