Missed Connections

Let’s not kid ourselves here. We’ve all people watched before: you’re in a public place for whatever reason with lots of people around when curiosity gets the better of you, so you check out what other people are doing, what they’re wearing, eavesdropping, trying to scope out the hotties, etc. Ever since I started taking transit to work, I’m completely guilty of this; it’s a long commute with little to do other than listen to music, so my eye is wandering onto what’s going on with all the other commuters and silently trying to be all up in their shit.

I definitely feel kinda creepy and stalkerish after admitting that, but Craigslist’s “Missed Connections” section proves that I’m definitely not the only one doing this. For those not in the know, the Missed Connections section is basically a place where people can anonymously express their attraction and/or feelings to others they were too shy/scared/nervous to try and make contact in hopes of making good on that lost opportunity.

Here’s Vancouver's, but try checking out your hometown. I’m always surprised at how many m4m postings there are...I would have never guessed that there are that many gay/bi guys out there checking each other out. For the amount of postings, you’d expect to see signs in dudes that scream “this guy is gay”, but that just isn’t the case (or maybe I just have awful, awful gaydar). It’s comforting to know that that might mean there really are that many masculine looking/acting gay/bi guys out there, but if you look at how many blogs there are out there by closeted guys, maybe it really shouldn’t be a big surprise. Now, the tough part is trying to weed out and interact with those guys...

Even for men and women alike, I find it’s kind of sad that as a society we’re so evasive of trying to make human contact with each other in fear of being judged. I mean, that’s why the Missed Connections section exists, right? Otherwise people would be making contact on the spot, rather than being shy and doing nothing, then lamenting about it on Craigslist later. It really shouldn’t be an embarrassment to just go up to somebody, give a smile and say hi, but I guess we’re programmed to assume the worst of each other and be distrustful and wary. Can we try and do our part to change this? Maybe next time you lock eyes with a random person, don’t just look away, but instead be friendly and give a nice smile? It could go along way for everybody.

-Matt