The Doors are Open...

One part boy updates, one part happy reflection: this post is a totally random update.

There wasn't much to be said about the Shane situation...until today. Apparently Nate and Cara had gone to visit him yesterday and they invited me along to a few of the plans they made with him, the first being a coffee and dessert night this week at his place. I'm not getting my hopes up, but I'm glad I get another chance to try and get a feel for the guy somewhere that isn't a club. And speaking of clubs, the other plan was to head out to a gay bar again, crash at my place and then breakfast the next morning...definitely looking forward to that too. I guess I didn't give Nate enough credit...maybe he did get the clue after all. 

My sister Diana moved out of the suburbs and into the city recently, and like a good big brother, I'm her chauffeur back to her place after she comes back home to visit every weekend. The 45 minute drive back gives us some time to bond, and the during the last few times during the drive, she's mentioned a co-worker of hers that she wanted me to come hang out with. He's a casting director, pretty clean cut, funny, sweet, pretty flamboyant, and likes masculine guys but is afraid of hitting on them in case they happen to be straight. Although it seems like he ticks off a few of my boxes, he doesn't exactly sound like my type, but I'm going to chalk that up to my sister poor and vague description. And besides, I guess you never know until you meet them in person. In addition to Nate and Cara, it's nice to know that my friends and family have got my back, and I think it's really sweet what they're doing for me.

And now that I'm actually back on campus on a fairly regular basis, I've been trying to stop by our LGBTQ centre as much as I can between classes. When I was in there a few days ago, I noticed that there were sign-ups for office volunteers and space monitors, and since this has been one of those things I've wanted to do for a while, I put my name down. And that's when I noticed cute guy's name on the volunteer orientation sign-up...isn't that lucky?

In other news, last Monday would have marked the one year anniversary since I first came out to Lindsay. I'll say it again: it's really remarkable that I've made it this far. A year ago, I never would have thought I could dedicate the majority of a post listing off the guys I'm tempted to chase after. Coming out is slowly becoming a non-issue for me, I've learned where to time it right, slip it in under the appropriate topics or make a simple correction (Three simple words: "Boyfriend, you mean?") and just shrug it off. It's a good feeling not having to stress over it. I really should have done this sooner =P .

And since I'm reflecting on the past, I've realized that it's been over 6 months since I last went to counseling. I just found I wasn't really getting much out of it anymore. I noticed that I was just talking about the same old obstacles and thinking myself into inaction, and the last few times I kept coming to the same conclusion that I just needed to suck up my pride, do something and deal with the (if any) consequences later. And between going to things like the rock-climbing, coming out to more people, playing volleyball, going to Pride, learning not take life so seriously and visiting the LGBT centre, I think I've done that and it's paid off. I feel a lot more comfortable with myself and more confident, and like I've got control and direction of where things are going as opposed to feeling helpless and confused. And so I really haven't had a reason to go back. I do wish I could have thanked Liz for helping come to the conclusions that I did, because I don't know if I could have ever realized what my issues were and how to deal with them without her guidance.

So in conclusion? Life's good now that I've learned to chill out and have some fun.

Be yourselves guys.

-Matt